It often feels like the cars we drive have a personality of their own. For instance, my car’s name is Velma, which, as you can imagine, refers to her “vintage” age and grandmother-like demeanor. Nevertheless, she’s a trusty friend when times get rough.
Most people affectionately name their cars, but what happens when they completely take on a personality of their own? I’ve taken six cars off our lot and written their backstories, but in a little less of a “Christine” kind of way.
Try doing this with your car and see what you can come up with! Let us know in the comments if you think the personality I made up matches our cars!
1. Chad: 2015 Dodge Charger
Chad was the star quarterback at his high school. They won state in 2007 and he’s still got the t-shirt to prove it.
Hair gel, perfectly manicured nails, an outfit that took 9 days to pick out, and the coolest shoes are regulars in Chad’s life. To put it short, he’s unashamed of being metro. Regardless of what any one thinks, Chad owns it.
He works out (like every day) and he’s not scared to wear form fitting v-necks that show off his incredible pecks.
Don’t hate the player, hate the game.
He only dates the hottest girls and he’s sort of a bad boy. Girls unwillingly melt when he flashes a half-smile and a head nod that says, “Sup? I’ll text you later.”
People don’t really want to like Chad, but they sort of have to. He’s just got that “thing” that you can’t really put your finger on, but he’s definitely got it.
Think Chad is hot? Get his deets here (“details” for those of you, who aren’t cool enough to know what deets are).
2. Dustin: 2015 Chevy Silverado
Dustin is pretty much the opposite of Chad. He’s your go-to guy when you need a hand with something (especially moving). You can expect him and his tool box to be in full force.
His friends call him “Dusty” for short, which relates even more to his personality as a good ole boy.
He finds comfort in long days working on the farm with his best friend, who is either a yellow lab or a John Deere tractor.
Dusty just married his high school sweetheart and they are starting a family of their own soon, which he is totally pumped about. He’ll be the dad coaching every single T-ball game known to mankind.
Overall, Dusty is a hard worker and a great provider. He likes the simple things in life and he loves comfort. He enjoys waking up at 5:00 a.m., feeding the chickens, and working till the sun goes down over the picturesque farm that he created.
Need a friend like Dusty? We got him right here!
3. Jeanette: 2014 Mercedes-Benz C-Class
Jeanette had it all put together before you even thought about what adult life might be like. She was the seven-year-old that was going on 35. She was also basically born wearing designer clothes and expensive heels.
Did you change your major 19 times in college? Jeanette made it clear that she was going to graduate in 1.5 years. With honors. HOW!?!
Everything she does seems to be perfect, meanwhile you are having a mid-life crisis at 25 and wondering how in the world you are supposed to support you and your cat. Cat food gets expensive!
Her Instagram is filled with a job you’d never be considered for, Louboutin red bottoms, a Goldendoodle, and countless friends that should all be models. Oh, and she’s friends with Taylor Swift. Casual…
While you are considering moving back in with your mom and dad, Jeanette just met a millionaire while vacationing on the French Riviera and guess what? They’re getting married in October!!!!!! Yay!
She won’t add you on Facebook, but we’ve got more exclusive pics here!
4. Rhonda: 2014 Honda Odyssey EX-L
Rhonda is a wheeler and dealer. I always say that mini vans have two modes: 1. Slow rollin’/uses a turn signal almost 79 blocks away from the actual street that they will turn on. 2. Bat that just emerged from a cave for the first time in 9 years.
Rhonda is the second.
She’s got three boys and she’s got to get them to soccer practice. As in, like right now!
How did this happen again? Well, she got caught up on the phone with her best friend Susie for over two hours and now she’s late. “Oh, buggers!” she gasps to Susie. “I just remembered the dang boys have soccer practice and this is the third time we are going to be late. I gotta go, girl. I’ll call you back after I drop those rascals off!”
Unfortunately, she had all day to prepare for this. She just knows the coach is going to sit her youngest son out for her negligence. He’s already been threatened twice.
“Who even takes youth soccer this seriously?” she’ll question from the bleachers with her hair in rollers.
Need to get the kiddos somewhere quick? Let Rhonda help you! She’s a pro.
5. Willow: 2013 Toyota Prius
Willow is your vegan roommate. She will not let you cook anything inside the house that even remotely looks like meat. Your love for chicken nuggets are a secret that is kept safe in a vault underneath your bathroom vanity. What she doesn’t know won’t hurt her.
Organic veggies literally consume the inside and outside of your house. It’s starting to look more and more like a jungle every time you exit your room. You are expected to help harvest ripe tomatoes, cucumbers, peppers, and squash on the reg.
Otherwise, Willow is actually really cool and makes a mean cold pressed juice. She is healthy, happy, and active. She’ll get you to try yoga at least once and also want to drag you to meditation class.
While you might not be a health freak, Willow will try her very hardest to help you learn everything you need to know about gut health.
Also, have you ever woke up at 5:00 a.m. to see the sun rise over the Pacific Ocean? You have now.
There’s no such thing as a minute wasted to her and she’s willing to force everyone into her lifestyle, if it’s the last thing she ever does. You put up with it, because she’s actually a great friend, listener, and free therapist.
Need a healthier start? Check out more about Willow!
6. Jeff: 2012 Ford F-150 XLT
Jeff is your brother’s friend at family BBQ that you couldn’t keep your eye off of. Who is he and where did he come from? And why haven’t you met him sooner?
“But, he’s my brother’s best friend from college…” you might say, as you take a second glance. “Who cares? Just go talk to him. He’s a hunk,” the other side of you replies.
Jeff is a solid guy and he is actually really nice, even though he’s a little bit intimidating. The good news is that he’s single and he acts like he’s ready to settle down and start a family soon, which is kinda cute now.
What’s Jeff’s last name again? Does it go well with yours?
If it does, you better lock it down, sister. Jeff won’t be single for long.
See, the thing about Jeff is that he’s a man’s man and a woman’s future husband. He has a ton of friends, a great job, a house of his own, and he even showed you the cutest pictures of him playing with his niece and nephew.
He’s basically perfect and your dream guy, but you’ll have to contact us to set up a date with him!